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December 18, 2013
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Shepard can contact anybody everywhere in the Galaxy simply by pressing the finger to his/her ear!

Shepard can actually stop the very time simply by deciding what to say!

When Shepard becomes the Galaxy president the first order would be invalidating the dances!

Shepard is so invincible, that even his/her armor doesn`t get scratched in combat!

Sitting behind the boxes is the best way to cure even mortal wounds… Pity nobody but Shepard knows that…

Shepard`s skills are so intimidating, that when he/she drives the vehicle everybody in the range of 2 kilometers fear for their lives, the vehicle crew especially!

Shepard killed 144913 people to save the world… If he/she would have decided to destroy the Reapers would have been put to shame…

Shepard is such a BAMF that he/she has a shield even when not wearing armor!

Shepard is such a trace blazer in everything, that every vital discovery/battle/descision in the modern history simply cannot be made without him/her involved!

Shepard loves guns so much, that no matter how many he/she carries on the back, he/she still has one more assault rifle and a pistol especially for the cut-scenes!

Shepard has such a great intuition that any casual talk in the street he/she hears by chance never turn out to be a fiction and always lead to profit!

Soldier Shepard is such a hardened war veteran, that he/she can fire concussive shot from ANY weapon and even when completely depleted of the fire clips!

Shepard (regardless the class/gender) is so strong that he/she can effortlessly pull up any squad member (including Grunt) who is falling to the Reaper chamber in the Collector base!

Shepard is so badass that enemies never dare to actually hit him/her in the cut-scenes, shooting everywhere and everyone but not the Commander!

Shepard`s Heavy Melee is so spectacular, that aimed enemies freeze in place and even stop shooting to enjoy the show!

Shepard is so infallible that even when he/she chooses the worst possible way to go it still leads to victory!

Shepard commands such discipline and respect that even his lovers do not dare call him anything but last name!

Shepard is so proud and fearless that he/she never ducks under enemy fire!

Only Shepard can cure three people with one Medigel kit.

Shepard can bring the crushed/stabbed/pierced companion back to life simply by touching him/her!

Shepard`s companions are so tough that even the direct Reaper hit that destroys the Space Cruiser simply knocks them unconscious! They can die only by Shepard`s own hands, or his/her blessing!

Shepard is so lucky, that he/she may not wear helmet in combat, no bullet ever hits Commander`s head!

Shepard is so deadly, that he/she can kill even with incorporeal holographic toy-looking blade!

Shepard loves fighting so much, that even being a Biotic he/she never uses his/her powers in cut-scenes, preferring fists and pistols!

Shepard inspires such fear in enemies, that even being tied in melee they dare to hit him/her only once and then swiftly back off, evidently afraid that Shepard punishes them for such insolence!

Shepard is such a good politician, that he/she can come to any most hard and dead negotiations and instantly make peace/end the war and reconcile sworn enemies with just a few simple as dust sentences.

When people, especially the Council, say to Shepard that something is impossible, they are always proved wrong!

Everybody loves and respects Shepard so much, that even if they capture Commander they never kill him/her when able, and then always leave weapons and armor close, giving the chance to escape!

Shepard is so strong that even when unarmed he/she always kills armored and helmed enemies in cut-scenes with one single fist punch.

Shepard loves war and combat so much that even given his own huge apartment and access to casino, alcohol and entertaining he/she still spends most of his/her free time in combat simulator!

Shepard`s shield/barrier is so durable, that even remaining 1% it can still hold the missile hit before collapsing!

Shepard is so devoted to the cause that he/she can sleep just three times through the whole war!

Shepard is always 100% concentrated on saving the galaxy, so understanding their fail BioWare gave up and added auto-feeder for the fish in Mass Effect 3!

Female Shepard is so agile that she can fight and sprint even in the dress and on the heels!

Shepard is so strong that he/she can head-bud and stagger a Krogan Warlord!

Shepard is so well trained that even being Adept he/she can easily pilot looted enemy Atlas and not even get shot through the broken glass!

Shepard is so badass that he/she can use "Renegade Disrupt" even on the Reaper!

Shepard`s ship is so "Shepard`s" that even being completely depleted of fuel it still flies to the nearest Relay on it`s own badassery!


Facts by: :iconquwykxz:


Shepard is so sexy, that anyone who's met him/her even once wants to mate with him/her, even if their physiology is highly incompatible with that of Humans`!

Shepard is so respected and famous that he/she can walk up to complete strangers and tell them how to proceed in their daily and even private or intimate lives, and they will all do as he/ she says immediately and without questions or thinking twice about it.

Shepard is so highly thought of, that even though he/she routinely hangs out with psychopaths, murderers, thieves, pirates, assassins, and convicts, and calls some of them her very close friends, it never damages his/her reputation and he/she is always regarded as a role model and someone that should be emulated.

Shepard's recommendation and endorsement is so highly sought after, that he/she can make a verbal contract with every store on the Citadel that says he/she will say that this one particular store is his/her favorite, and none of the store owners will sue him/her for breach of contract, or even call him/her a bald-faced liar.

Shepard is so popular, that even boring, routine sentences spoken by him/her - such as "I should go" -  become catch-phrases.

Shepard is so attractive, that the REAL reason the Reapers invaded our galaxy is simply to be closer to him/her.


Factes by :iconjusthavehope:  

Male Shepard is so bad-ass that he can mate with a Quarien and not get her sick by doing so.

Shepard is so insensible that she/he can take down a Reaper on foot.

Shepard is so bad-ass she/he even defeated the death itself!

Just a small list of funny facts about Commander Shepard I noticed playing Mass Effect games, I`m sure there are much more of them, but these are all I can think of at the moment. ^^; So if you guys know more - be my guests, I`ll gladly add some new lines to the list! ;-)


Also many thanks to awesome :iconquwykxz:  and :iconjusthavehope: for their hillarius facts as well! :highfive:

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:iconmajorward:
MajorWard Dec 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Short version: They don't give out N7 status to just anyone, yanno? 
Reply
:icondowmodder:
Even shorter: This. Is. SAAAAAARCAAAASM! :XD:
Reply
:iconjusthavehope:
JuStHaVEHoPe Dec 19, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Shepard is so bad-ass that he can mate with a Quarien and not get her sick by doing so.

Shepard has such an influence in the universe that he/she can decide the fate of a war that has been going on longer then he/she has been alive.

Shepard is so insensible that she/he can take down a Reaper on foot.

 Shepard is so bad-ass she/he even defeated death it's self.
 
Reply
:icondowmodder:
Ha. nice ones thanks! :highfive: IU`ll add those to the list with your credit of course! ;-)
Reply
:icongwevin-benlie-fan:
Some true shit right here. ;)
Reply
:iconquwykxz:
Shepard is so sexy, that anyone who's met him/her even once wants to mate with him/her, even if their physiology is highly incompatible with that of Humans'.

Shepard is so respected and famous that he/she can walk up to complete strangers and tell them how to proceed in their daily and even private or intimate lives, and they will all do as he/ she says immediately and without questions or thinking twice about it.

Shepard is so highly thought of, that even though she routinely hangs out with psychopaths, murderers, thieves, pirates, assassins, and convicts, and calls some of them her very close friends, it never damages his/her reputation and he/she is always regarded as a role model and someone that should be emulated.

Shepard's recommendation and endorsement is so highly sought after, that he/she can make a verbal contract with every store on the Citadel that says he/she will say that this one particular store is his/her favorite, and none of the store owners will sue him/her for breach of contract, or even call him/her a bald-faced liar.

Shepard is so popular, that even boring, routine sentences spoken by him/her - such as "I should go" -  become catch-phrases.

Shepard is so attractive, that the REAL reason the Reapers invaded our galaxy is simply to be closer to him/her :D .
Reply
:icondowmodder:
Mwua-ha-hga-ha! Nice, thanks! :highfive: The list is growing! :iconlawooplz:
Reply
:iconsavvid:
Savvid Dec 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:XD: so true!!
Reply
:icondowmodder:
:bow: Pleasure to be of service! :hug:
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