*Working Log 32, trooper 7501, Havoc division. Benning, day 2: Today we finally started the intake of the local population. Thanks to our engineers the forward operation base is established and our forces now have a strong grip of area, the resistance is insignificant and with Alliance forces stretched thin across the battlefields due to the Reaper invasion it is most likely we`ll finish the planned collection capacity sooner than expected. Trooper 7501, logging out.*


*Working Log 33, trooper 7501, Havoc division. Benning, day 3: All alien subjects had been detained and processed, the tests were performed as instructed and the rejects had been disposed. Our Doctors states the research results as, I quote: "… waste of our precious time while we could study Reaper tech!" The few subjects that responded to the treatment are now being studied further, hopefully we`ll have suitable results in two days. Judging by the howls and moans from the labs the experiments ethical side if critically low, and all my attempts to reason with the doctors – giving that I`m technically their superior – were in vain. … I do not approve of their methods, stated my report to the superior officer… got reprimand and the extra duty for the day… Trooper 7501 logging out.*


*Working Log 34, trooper 7501, Havoc division. Benning, day 4: The collecting process is going well, the new subjects are being brought constantly. While inspecting the captives I noticed the common febrility effect at most of them as well as burn traces, suspect this to be the result of the misused Assault Troopers shock-stick. Warned the troops at the morning briefing about that, ordered them not to harm civilians, also stated my recommendations to the superiors regarding the critical barbarity of our doctor`s experiments on the alien subjects: as the Havoc trooper I have authority to council almost every person in the Unit and the fact that my orders are being systematically ignored is disturbing.

Officer 5221 summoned me to his office for another rebuke this evening, said I disgrace my uniform by doubting our greater goal. After several dozen insults he tried to strike me… As the penalty for the insubordination and inflicting trauma upon the superior officer in self-defense with the use of Biotics I will be demoted to the Warden. The tactical value of this order is lower than zero: I`m the one of only two Havoc Troopers in the entire unit and without Biotic and Technical support our troopers will be vulnerable to the enemy specialists. I`ll conduct the report to the Illusive Man as soon as I`m able and demand justice! *sigh* My new duties starts tomorrow, instead of commanding and supporting I`ll be guarding the cells… I hate my job! Trooper 7501 logging out.*


*Working Log 35, trooper 7501, Havoc … Warden division. Benning, day 5: Acquired and processed all male subjects suited for the combat, the resistance rate decreased almost completely after that, more and more locals surrender peacefully to our conditions: we promised not to harm children and deliver them off world to the nearest Alliance controlled planet.

The situation with the captive alien subjects is... grim, two more died today - a Turian and a Salarian female... unlike humans they do not accuire the same treatment as well as food portions. I`ll inform the command of the situation and submit a request list, for now I`m going to try distribute the meals equally between all the captives that can eat same food.

Still trying to find the best way to use female human subjects: doctors still debate whether they should be... indoctrinated was the word as snipers and spies or the local medical support for our forward troops. Note: find out the meaning of the word 'Indoctrination'!

Reference: the front losses increased by the 27% since I`ve been reassigned and today`s reports indicate that we lost our Biotic support entirely. Reference: Trooper 7512 was reported as K.I.A. after the reports of the unknown group of mercenaries landing in the far side of the colony. From the brief chats with other troopers in the cafeteria I learned that there are at least two Biotics in their group, one of them said to be the asari… Trooper 7501 logging out*


*Working Log 36, trooper 7501, Havoc… Still can`t get used to this… Warden division! Benning, day 6: *sigh* Head aches… stronger this time! The more I try to relax and not think about that incident the more it haunts me! … The last alien experimental subject died today: when I as usual brought the morning food the female drell was not showing signs of life. The urgent revival procedures I attempted were inefficient, the subject died from the implant rejection and… judging by the seams the absent of a few vital organs. *sigh* I never thought… *sigh* Doesn`t matter…

One of the captive human females attempted the escape during the dinner time. The mature woman we previously identified as local doctor somehow managed to open the lock: she tried to run and even hit me with sharpened aluminum spoon. Before she had a chance of releasing others I shut the cell door close with Biotic push and detained the rebel and put her back into the cell to the rest of the females. Instruction demands that I report the attempt to the superiors… but knowing their discipline enforcement… *sigh* I`d rather not. Without the only medical specialist the subjects physical and mental conditions may drop below recommended level… Do I really sound that formal? … Anyways… Trooper 7501 logging out.*


*This is the log 37, I`m 7501, Warden division, still on Benning, day 7: Today they have brought many bodies: I took a sharp look and there are mostly dead troopers, the few who are alive are not going to make it… The Warp burns – I`ll recognize them out of a thousand, those heal very poorly. But they finally managed to capture one of the mercenaries alive – this one turned out to be the asari. I saw the inhibitors on her wrists – she is obviously powerful. Guys say she killed about fifteen men on her own before they could sedate her.

Still I wonder what will the doctors want with this lass… *sigh* Why do I even ask? I`d hate to see this beautiful girl on their slad… Don`t want to sound selfish but I`m glad I`ll be guarding her this evening… I could use company, sick of being alone! … Logging out! … Why she looks so familiar…?*


*Log 38… God I thought I`d go crazy! Those screams were unbearable, what were they doing to her?! When they brought the poor lass here for the night she was barely alive, I never saw the asari being so pale – her face looked like chalk. She is now resting, I know the instruction forbades helping the prisoners or even enter the cage, but still I gave her the stim-pack: nobody would notice the small trace of the needle on her hand after those tortures, without that I`m afraid she may not survive the night.
…

Four hours passed, the asari seems to be getting better – her skin slowly returned to usual blue and her breath became steady and deep – she is sleeping, I gave her some water so she`d recover faster. She will live… for now, and she will never know who helped her. … I just wonder if it was a kind act or I simply extended her suffering? … Still can`t figure out why she looks so familiar, when I touched her hand I felt the warmth of her skin over mine, the touch of her lips on mine, the gentle presence of her mind over mine… But that never happened! I did not undress, hug or kiss her – not to mention mind thing. How…?*


*Log 39 I think… I`m going to be executed for sure now! I gave the asari sedative so she`d not wake up in the morning, her traumas are mostly skin-deep, but she looks poorly. I reported that prisoner is slowly dying and will probably not survive another day – I already know that unconscious subjects are useless for our 'doctors'. God I hope they don`t find out… hah like I have something to lose? Today I for the first time looked in the mirror… I`m already a dead man, what has happened to me that I see those horrible marks and... and I don`t care... My mind understands it`s not normal, but still... nothing! I wonder what they did to my head to make me forget such elementary things? *Sigh* It`s like my only intentions so far were shooting and following orders! Hah I wonder how I did not forget my nam… … My name? No... WHAT IS MY NAME?!?!?!?!*


*This is Log 40… Benning day 15: I couldn`t record anything for days because of the damned superior… That idiot sent me into the raid against the remaining mercenaries, but frankly I`m pleased – I really felt like hitting someone for a week already! Since we captured that asari they became our headache: almost every day our patrols are being attacked, our communication lines cut and so on. The damn sniper has been annihilating our troopers even inside the base… Hah though he tried to gun me down as well I`m glad he did kill both of our butchers 'doctors', at least now the asari will be safe and I won`t have to hear the pain howls every night!

The raid went well – with my help our guys now have a chance against them – the only Biotic left seems to be quarian, but she is not that asari – though she mustered Warp strikes it won`t affect the tide when I`m around, the single overload nails her to the cover so it was not a problem.
Almost had her today – if only that other quarian with his flamer would not interfere I`d definitely kill her… *sigh* But what`s the point? We gave them a good beating and even so none was killed or captured I guaranteed that at least two of the group are wounded. It will stall them and give us more time… but what good will it do?

I still can`t get over this – I feel... different, my head hums like a beehive but... I fell right, like some shroud is lifting, like I`m starting to see once again... Funny thing... I know about this planet, I know about our mission, I know the Cerberus rules and stuff... but I don`t remember ever learning it! How in space do I know how to fix Cerberus assault armor on the field when I never saw the schematics or... *Sigh of pain* Pain again... Every time I try top think head aches, like some steel claws crush it... Obey! Follow! Damn it those words haunt me, it`s like they sound in my very head and when I close my eyes they shine like a flashlight! That has to end, I`ll find the way...

Other guys started to notice the changes in behavior: they don`t say anything but I know they know! It`s only the matter of time until I`m reported… I try to keep control, but… dreams make it almost impossible! Every time I close my eyes I see her! The Asari… but not the one in the cage – the one from the dream bares different tattoos and seems younger… Her silky voice burns my ears, her tender touch case nasty creeps all over my body… she says she loves me, speaks the name I do not recognize and… I find myself responding to her… I think her name was Liya… Why was, the memory of her is colored with loss, pain, longing... God I`m going crazy! Logging out…*


*Log 41. The asari spoke to me today – for the first time in week she`s been awake. She asked for the some extra food and thanked me when I brought it. "Thank you…", never thought I`d hear those words again – not after what I did… what I was forced to do! God so many lives lost, so much pain! This is not what I want, this is not what I `am`! ... And what am I? I... don`t remember, evere attempt to think results in more pain...

Anyways she seems to recover fully, and though she shows no signs of hostility and obeys my commands I know that without those inhibitors that lass will turn me into the wet blot of the floor. I`m keeping the helm on – don`t want her to see my face… don`t want to see in her eyes what I saw in the mirror…

High Command ordered us to pack up and go, we got what we came here for – the officer said we`ll be departing planet in two days. … My head aches every time I think about that mysterious asari from my dreams, Liya you`re driving me mad! Why do you haunt me, who are you? … I`m a lost cause for certain…*


*Log 42 take 5. Damn it this is the fifth time I try to record the log and every time I`m being interrupted by the static, this storm outside makes my onmitool glitch. The Asari fell asleep so now I`m making the record. Can`t believe it she just… she just asked how I was feeling! Said I was not looking well – and even though I can clearly hear the sarcasm in her tone it is… good to hear those words, at least I can still find joy in small things… makes me feel human.

I have never felt so… depressed before – every time I look at her beautiful face, every time I har her deep breaths, every time I think about her fate my hear breaks… Got order today morning – she is to be executed tomorrow morning and more to it I`ll be the one to end her… That 5221 is on my killing list now, oh how much I hate this idiot! I`m not going to take it anymore, we`ve been told that doubts are signs of weakness, but it was doubts that opened my eyes! THIS IS NOT MY LIFE, AND THIS IS NOT ME!*


*Log 43… This is my last record… It is done, the 5221 is dead – I pierced his chest with my omniblade and gutted the bastard right in his office… My armor is blotted with his blood…, the whole station is at the alert and everybody turned on me… *pistol shot sound* And I don`t care… Now I`m moving back to the prison block… *Warp whistle and death scream* I don`t care anymore, I won`t allow this shit to continue! They took away my memory, my life, my love… Liya I remember you now… I remember everything, everything they took from me! They turned me into this… monster! *Sound of a Biotic throw and couple of pain sighs* They twisted my mind, made me their tool, their puppet!

I`m a lost and long dead man, my soul is a void filled with paind and misery... but at least I have a soul - unlike the man who orchestrated all this travesty! *Stop! … Argh…* And now… now I`m going to do what I should have done long ago… *Picking up the gun from the dead Guardian* I`ll come into that block and release that asari… I may have comdemned hundreds of people to fate worse than death... there is no redemption for me... but at least I can still save one life!

So much blood… my blood, I feel it pours from my wounds… but it doesn`t hurt… What kind of monster am I? … Doesn`t matter, I may be lost but she is not, and she will not be! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT! *Voice lock, the password is required!*

Maintenance control R1-B5… *sigh* There sssssshh... No one left, the base is completely deserted… Other prisoners were taken away, but at least she will be safe… As for me sssshhh… daaaamn it... I do not cherish any hope… By the time she is free I`ll already be dead… I have suffered enough! Liya, my love… I`m coming to you, to you and our little blue jewel! *Sobbing* My name is trooper 750… No… No! My name is... was Aleksey Petrov, Alliance, Sentinel, Moscow regiment… For what it`s worth... I`m sorry - for everything! Logging... ahhhh... out…*


The voice record ended, covering the room with deep and hollow silence. It took some time for everybody to process the information, and only after the minute or so young Quarian stepped forward.

"So THIS is why you chose to save him, Yanna…"

The asari nodded, sending casual looks towards the med block where the doctors fought for the life of her... unusual savior.

"He saved my life… Not something I would expect from a human left alone Cerberus… There was something odd about him from the very beginning, from the very first time I saw him through the cell door. But only now after hearing all that… confession I suppose I understand him. Don`t you think that a man willing to die for his sworn enemy deserves this chance?"

Dora swallowed bitterly, but could not answer that, even under her mask Yanna saw how young quarian looked down hiding upcoming tears. After that Asari looked at her other friends and in each face she saw the same picture of mixed pity, doubt and admiration. They were unsure, as was she – but still… Yanna T`Mio was willing to take that chance, if not for the sake of the War Effort, but for the sake of a human who sacrificed everything for that she live!

"I want to give it a try, Commander! My responsibility!" She looked at the Zel'Aenik nar Idenna, the quarian pyro that`s been backing the wall with his hands crossed shook his helmed head. The air filters of his mask vented air soundly, but after a small silent pause he did nodded approvingly.

"Not your responsibility Yanna, ours!' The quarian leader looked at the left and right, eyeing his squad-mates and exchanging glances with them and then returned to the asari, a amsll smile already started to appear on her lips. "This… Aleksey returned you to us, and for that we all are grateful to him… If he survives… Well, we`ll see!"


END